Manchester 13-3 North London: Five Months Later...

In terms of all human history several days mark very key events in the development of our race: The day the wheel was invented, the day they paced the capstone on the Great Pyramid, the day Jesus was born, the Battle of Hastings, the start of the two world wars and the day the Berlin Wall fell done. but in the minds of English football fans few days will stick in the memory more (except of course for the 1966 World Cup Final and England 5-1 Germany) than the 28th of August 2011 when the whole country sat up and took notice of Manchester as not just one, but two clubs. The air was thick with anticipation as the two title favourites faced their faced big test of the 2011/2012 season. Man City vs Tottenham and Man U vs Arsenal. And both rose to the challenge superbly. it started at White Heart Lane, with talk of Modric leaving and there 3-0 loss to Man U the week before left an air of despair around the ground, and that feeling would only thicken. Samir Nasri did brilliantly on his debut for Man City. Edin Dzeko produced a solo display that is probably one of the best you'll ever see. He scored 4 goals, his positioning, passing and predatory instincts where perfect as they ran out 5-1, Kaboul's header providing a tiny consilation. The first goal was a beautifully worked goal, finished by Dzeko flying boot, the second was possibly the greatest header of Premier league history, he somehow manged to head back across the keeper from a near impossible position. He just had to guide in the third, a great solo effort from Aguero before Dzeko curled in a magnificant forth to claim the match ball, that goal also won MOTD's Goal of the month for August.

Roberto Mancini was still annoyed that they conceded 1 goal but it was still team display worthy of Barcelona. It really was a landmark day in the history of Man City Football Club and really announced there intentions about winning titles. Man City went on to have the longest unbeaten streak in the Premier League before Chelsea broke there run. But they are still a great team and next season they will be even better. 

It seemed that anything that City could do Man U could do better. Facing an extremely weakened Arsenal missing Nasri and Fabregas as well as sporting several youth teamers making their debuts. They were destroyed, they played so badly that, well you know the American Samoa reference. It ended Man U 8-2 Arsenal. It seemed every time they went for goal they scored and they scored some beauties. Welbecks header, Young's curler, Rooney's free-kick, Rooney's second free-kick, Nani's chip, Park's placed, Rooney's penalty and Young second curler inflicted a huge defeat upon the Gunners. They were about 20 levels below bad and man U weren't even playing there best, they've certainly produced better performances this season. 

But now five months on things are looking very different as both side prepare to squad up again on the same day in the reverse fixture, North London is out for revenge:

Man City

Out of Europe, out of FA Cup and on a bad run of form, lost valuable points in the last few games, notlooking as good as they did in the 5-1 win but still a very good team and will be one of the favourites for the Europa League. If they can make some good signings in the transfer window to help with the two month absence of Kolo and Yaya Toure among some to the CAF African Cup of Nations they should be fine, still on course for title.

Man Utd

Out of Europe, even more embarrassing seeing as they had an easy group. Had a run of bad losses including the 3-0 loss at home to newcastle and of course the 6-1 loss to Man City, still playing well but Rooney isn't. Like Man City still one of the main title contenders.

Tottenham Hotspur

Despite there poor start to the season Spurs are now playing really well and have caught up with the Manchester clubs playing really good football. Almost guaranteed a Champions League spot, they should get a good result at the Etihad, a draw at the minimum.

Arsenal

Despite there abysmal start to the campaign the gunners have picked up really well (though mainly down to Van Persie with a strike rate so good that Ronaldo Messi and Cekulajevs would be proud of) though they have gone further in the Champions League and may be able to push for a spot in Europe's elite next year 

(though the Europa League looks more likely)

Tomorrows games look to be interesting contests with the teams not as one sided as they were five months ago, they should be packed with goals (though not as many for one side) great football and great memories though will it be fore the Londoners or the Mancunians?

Friday Top 10: Champions League Group Stage Goals 2011/2012

As the start of the knock-out stages of the worlds premier club competition get ever closer, I look back at what was a group stage to remember, both Manchester clubs not getting through, Lyon managing a 7 goal swing on the last day to gain second place and of course APOEL (what do you mean you've never heard of them?) becoming the first Cypriot side to qualify for the knock-out stage, where the battle to be crowned Europe's best club really starts to heat up. I will assess the ten best goals of this seasons group stage, from free-kick thunderbolts to passing mastery, this lists got it all...

Ivan PERISIC vs Arsenal Matchday 1
An absolute peach. In the 88th minute Ivan Perisic (no 44 ironically), clearly a graduate of the Paul Scholes school of volleying, produced a moment of magic worthy of any Europe's top clubs and announced the fact that Dortmund where back in Europe. A good delivery from a free-kick but the header is well won by Kieran Gibbs, Perisic sets him self and catches the volley perfectly sending it flying into the top corner, salvaging a point for Dortmund, a sensational strike. Szczesny doesn't even move.

Cristiano RONALDO vs Ajax Matchday 2
One touch passing at it's very best, leading to a sublime team goal. Great tackle by Romas who gives it to Ozil, who gives it to Ronaldo, plays a beautiful one-two with Kaka before playing it to Ozil, Benzema is charging down the wing and Ozil picks him out first time, Benzema then (also first time) drives a lovely cross across the box for Ronaldo to hammer the ball home back across the keeper. Really was pure gold.

Pure gold, ironic considering the Real Madrid's colours... 

Bafetimbi GOMIS vs Dinamo Zagreb Matchday 2 
No commentary to the video but if there was it would go something like this. "Oh and there been a mix-up in the Dinamo midfield and its set Gomis on his way... the chip and what a goal that is what a goal that is. A quite fantastic goal from outside the area, to get that much elevation and to get it back down..." it just says it all.

Damn I shouldn't have come out...

HULK vs Shakhtar Donetsk Matchday 1
Despite what the commentary says you can't actually blame the goalie for this thumper. Summoning the spirit of Roberto Carlos, this is basically a carbon copy of that goal. Hulk leathers it and bends it around the wall, in fact you should commend the keeper for actually getting hands to it. But the shot just has so much power in it, and it was going extremely close to the post, the keeper can only succeed in redirecting it into the top corner.

Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs BATE Borisov Matchday 3
The first of two goals from the Prince of Milan, a  good cross field ball looking for Taiwo is beautifully pulled down by Boateng instead, and with hardly any back lift he sends it flying in off the crossbar, one of those "Don't even bother goalkeeper..." moments.

Alan DZAGOEV vs Inter Milan Matchday 2
A very clever free-kick. The young boy from North Ossetia is already making a storm in his homeland and the free-kick is one of his may talents. The man targeted by Chelsea gets the most incredible bend and swerve, Julio Cesar in the Inter goal thinks the ball is heading for the top corner but the bends whips it back across him into the roof of the net past his flailing hand as he justs acts as spectator to a fantastic free-kick. A shot Russian missiles boffins would have been proud of.

Oscar CARDOZO vs Manchester United Matchday 1
Man U where hoping for a good start to there Champions League campaign but one of Europe's most lethal marksmen, Oscar Cardozo was thinking differently. Nicolas Gaitan on the far side, gets the ball and sends and incredible pass with the outside of his boot to pick out Cardozo. Who controls with chest, sublimely turns Johnny Evans before sending a fierce dipping shot back across Lindegaard into the bottom corner. Man U crashed out of Europe and this was the first wound that led to there collapse.

And what happens next...Man U out of Europe!!!

Jelle VOSSEN vs Bayer Levekusen Matchday 6
Racing Genk actually acquitted themselves quite well in there first season in the Champions League (they did lose 5-0 and 7-0 though) including an incredible draw with Chelsea. Genk where out of Europe all together on the final matchday, but Jelle Vossen saw them out in style.  A powerful low cross from the wing that looked destined to miss everybody was incredibly turned in on the volley that flew into the bottom corner. Vossen somehow contorted his body to fire the ball home brilliantly.

Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs FC Barcelona Matchday 5
Somehow controlling a ball with his foot that Peter Crouch wouldn't be able to reach, on the edge of the area, Boateng pulls the ball down, bamboozles Abidal with a lovely piece of skill before smashing the ball in at the near post. Goalkeeping maybe questionable but still a wonderful goal.

Mathieu VALBUENA vs Borussia Dortmund Matchday 6
Marseilles (yes the ones in the orange) needed a win on the final matchday to go through. With scores locks at 2-2 Valbuena produces a goal of incredible skill to send Marseilles into the knock-out stage. A throw in from the right, Valbuena weaves passed one player, performs a lovely drag back to get past the second and into box takes a touch and curls/fires a magnificant shot into the top corner.

A goal so good, you can almost excuse the shirts...almost

So as the train of footballing time trundles on toward the next station of the 2011/2012 UEFA Champions League Knock-Out stage and Man U and Man City stand on the last platform having got off at the last station, this is where the competition really starts. A cracking group stage, lit up with some fantastic goals. The top ten are.

10. Oscar CARDOZO vs Manchester United

9. HULK vs Shakhtar Donetsk

8. Jelle VOSSEN vs Bayer Levekusen

7. Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs BATE Borisov

6. Alan DZAGOEV vs Inter Milan

5. Mathieu VALBUENA vs Borussia Dortmund

4. Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs FC Barcelona

3. Bafetimbi GOMIS vs Dinamo Zagreb

2. Critiano RONALDO vs Ajax

1. Ivan PERISIC vs Arsenal

So Ivan Perisic's stunning volley win this weeks Friday Top 10. I for one can't wait for a knock-out stage filled with drama, pain, happiness and of course great goals. I will bring the list for the whole champions league after the final in Munich on the 19th of May. If you don't agree with the ranking or can suggest another goal that should have been included please comment.

Next weeks Friday top ten (though it will be posted in Wednesday as I'm in DUBAI on the Friday) will be Top 10 Mad Referee decisions, so stat tuned for the 6 yards goal line, the worst dive ever and of course, the horrible CURSE OF THE STANCHION!!! 

   

A Guide to keeping footballers

Footballers are by very natures curious creatures. They can be found roaming the every corner of the globe, often settling in colonies called 'teams', some teams are bigger and stronger than others. The 'teams' are constantly at war with each other looking to gain dominance. They come in many shapes, sizes and breeds. They are very difficult, changes of 'teams' are very common and the best players can go for millions of pounds. The big chiefs of the 'teams' have a lot of difficulty keeping there best players. To keep footballers you need to give them money, food, playing time and a host of other things they need to make them feel happy, like a specific shirt number etc.

(In David Attenborough voice) Breeds include...Zebra's  

"It's all down to Rice Krispies" said Luther Blissett when he joined AC Milan. More on Rice Krispies later. You need to keep your players loyal so you give them what they want. If a young Russian player arrives at a club with his family you have to make it easy for him, you get him a house, a language teacher, a car, a school if they have kids. This is where Rice Krispies comes in, if they is something specific a player wants, a club need to get it for him so he feels secure at the club. AC Milan are the best at this, when you arrive they lay on everything for you and make sure you like it.

...Tigers

Some examples of bad induction include, for the first few months of his Chelsea career Didier Drogba and his family where stuck in a hotel while Drogba searched for a house, something Chelsea and there huge financial backing should have provided. When Steven Piennar joined Ajax (with the best youth system in the world) they were stuck in a concrete box of a flat with nothing in it but a pair of speakers they'd bought from South Africa.

...Flamingos 

Even Man City don't do it. Though if are playing new recruits £100,000 a week they may not care, Rice Krispies or not.

Why England aren't the best...

There is only one way to have good national team, have lots of money. Money is what most people are in football for, there is no getting away from it. There are the masses who love football because it is football (is there any other reason) but those people apart from the players are in football for money, almost all the FIFA executives aren't former footballers, they're businessmen who are willing to sacrifice are beloved game for a few extra zero's added onto a bank account in Switzerland (why do you think FIFA and UEFA are based there?) Money is what does everything for the game, look at any aspect of football and you can boil it own to money in some form or another, even seven year olds kicking a ball around on a rain sodden pitch while there parents cheer for them from the touchline in deckchairs drinking coffee from flasks, money is everywhere in the game and there is no getting away from it.

And people are worried about global warming, this is a real global disaster...

National teams especially need a big economy to drive them to greatness, the only exceptions are the USA and Australia, who invest in their own versions of 'football' or what we should call 'called-football-but-has-very-limited-use-of-the-foot-involved-so-should-actually-be-called-american/australian-rugby-don't-be-ridiculous-in-calling-it-football-you-silly-rednecks/pommies' (takes deep breath), but if you look at all the strong footballing nations they all have the backing of strong/large economies, I challenge you to name one. Even Brazil has the sixth biggest economy in the world. Actually, you could say Argentina and Mexico but even then they don't have economies you'd call small (plus Argentina have Lionel Messi). having a good national football team is a sign of strength. It's a good thing the cold war wasn't decided by a football match (real football, not fake 'football' with all the girlie padding and use of hands) as we'd now all be sitting in Gulag's in Siberia and saying 'comrade' to every one. And the one thing all the big teams seem to agree on is that the thing you invest most in youth football, the reason Spain and Germany are the two of the best teams in the world is the fact that they have great youth set ups. Real Madrid and Barcelona use there reserve teams as a way of training the young talent. This is the reason we don't do well, we rely to heavily on old talent, the way the German youth teams play is the exactly the same as the way the seniors do so when they get called up it is no challenge for them to fit into the senior squad. It is the opposite for England. If we did this then we would do better in major tournaments. It's not like we don't have the talent or anything, it's just we haven't got the right system. This is why we aren't the best. There seems to be only only one way to be successful and not follow this model. Be Brazil...       

The most annoying people in football...

I am lucky enough to play for my school team, it's like a badge of honour you carry around, you can be the most annoying geek with a skin condition and a liking for Justin Beiber and Hannah Montana but if your on the football team (though you probably wouldn't be if you fitted that description, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes) you have like a automatic rite to certain things. We have spent are lives learning to play the game to a level that makes us one of the best 11 players in you age bracket or maybe even the school. So the thing we find most annoying is people who don't understand criticising us on our play. For instance in one of our PE lessons we were playing football, I came out of my goal and closed the angle, managed to make the attacker fire his shot wide. The teacher and my team-mates praised me for good goalkeeping, then the kid who'd forgotten his PE kit and was listening to music (Hannah Montana possibly?) walks up behind and starts ripping into me about how I should have stayed into my goal and left half the goal exposed. I mean this is a kid whose idea of fun is sitting at his computer writing annoying Facebook posts and listening to dubstep. Coming out to narrow the angle is the one of those main laws of how to play football, like you kick the ball with your feet and you score a goal by getting the ball over the line. And here was a geeky kid, who is so bad at football the Plymouth Argyle under-5's girls team would except on talent and skills grounds and hair that looks like a Wayne Rooney job, talking to me like he was Alan Hansen. Being criticised by your team mates is good, as you know they know just as much as you, but fans who think they know the game but really have no idea. It's the same at pro level, I read an article by FourFourTwo's secret columnist about how most players cant stand fans. But there is a major difference, players don' have to put up with fans all-day five day's a week like us at school have to. However at school they can't use the time-honoured "I play your wages..." line.  So yeah, though at school they're not 'fans' you still have to put up with them, and most of us who do play for teams can't put up with them at all.       

New Kids on the Block...

With news of the golden generation of England's players ending I thought I'd look at some of England's new starlets as well as some of the best young talent from around the world. Football is increasingly becoming a young man, even in the Italian league which was once the old peoples home of footballers is full of some vibrant young stars who look set to like to light up the global stage in the future. 

England:

Jack Wilshere aged 20

As our national team finally starts to include some new talent in an increasingly ageing squad one player looks to be the replacement for Lampard or Gerrard, drawing comparisons with the like of Xavi and Iniesta, Wilshere looks to have secured himself a place in the future of the England team. With great control and a keen eye for the pass, the immensely talent 20 year old is surely a worthy replacement for the old guard.

Daniel Sturridge aged 22

Has scored more goals this season than Anelka, Torres and Drogba combined, Sturridge looks to be the future of the England front line, he should serve as good replacement in the first two games of the Euro's for Wayne Rooney, clinical in front of goal the young striker made a name for himself on loan to Bolton. He scored one of the goals of this season, a cute backheel vs Sunderland.

Raheem Sterling aged 17

Hailed as the new John Barnes, this Jamaican born winger is the shining light in Liverpool's reinvigorated academy, he scored 5 times in a 9-0 rout of Southend in the FA Youth Cup. With enough pace to make Aaron Lennon and Theo Walcott look like John Prescott. Top scorer for England in this years U-17 World Cup in Mexico.

Brazil:

Neymar aged 19 

An incredible player and definitely the best on this list, Neymar is already being hailed by Pele as the best in the world (You can't get much better praise...) his skill on the ball in unrivalled, appears to be able to score from anywhere on the pitch, and weaves through the opposition like a squirrel through trees while on steroids. An incredible talent, and surely will be the best player in the world at some point in the future.

Lucas Piazon aged 17

Not just in looks but in talent as well, Piazon is already being compared to Kaka, the Brazilian who was the best player in the world for the middle of the 2000's. Signed by Chelsea, he will be eligible to play for the first team when he turns 18, already free-scoring in the reserve league.

Germany:

Mario Goetze aged 19

You already know about the world conquering side of Ozil, Muller and Khedira but Goetze is the little extra that just rounds off one of the best international teams on the planet.There is high hopes for him at Euro 2012, he dragged Dortmund to the Bundesliga title last year and has attracted intrest from some of Europes biggest clubs. An attacking forward he is tricky with a great pass he will act alongside Ozil in Euro 2012 and lead to Germany (probably) to victory.

Spain

Thiago Alcantara aged 20

Already broken into the Barcelona first team with enough talent fill about 12 teams in the Premier League, he announced his arrival with a goal against Man U in a pre-season. Great on the ball and off it and can find space where ever he needs to, hasn't got a bad shot on him either.

Bojan Krkic aged 21

Considering most of his 104 appearances for Barcelona where ten minute cameos at the end of games, scoring 26 goals isn't bad. Like a younger version of Messi, he can dribble past players with ease, has cool finishing and quite a powerful shot on him. He must be good, as Barca insisted on a buy back clause of £17 million after one season (occasional) and £13 million (mandatory) after the second after he signed to Roma for $13 million, it takes a pretty special 21 year old who costs £38 million to keep. Scored one of the goals of the season in 09/10, similar to Neymar's against Flamengo that won the Puskas award (it wasn't that good though) 

Italy

Mario Balotelli aged 21

He may be so mad he really should be locked in a rubber room in a straight jacke, however he is powerful with a great touch and when on form and not blowing up his house, he is one of the best strikers in the Premier League, Man City's #45 is the first black player to appear for the italian national team.

Stephan El Shaarawy aged 19

Nicknamed the Pharaoh because of his Egyptian father, El Shaarawy is  talented player with heaps of potential and is already starting to challenge the likes of Pato and Robinho for a spot in the Milan first team, the Milan #92 (he has a cool squad number). He has chosen to play for Italy and can play on both the right or the left of the midfielder he is sure to follow in Balotelli's footsteps and break into the first team

Argentina

Erik Lamela

Barcelona wanted him and were desperate for his signature, he decided to play for River Plate before transferring to Roma this summer. The best player to come out of Argentina since Lionel Messi, he is a proper number 10 who never stops moving, he is likened to fellow countrymen Messi but looks more like Ronaldo to be honest. 

Russia

Alan Dzagoev

On the last stop on are tour, I've already talked about his in my Euro 2012 post, the best player to come out of the Russia/USSR since Andrei Arshavin, read my "Who Will Win Euro 2012" post to find out more.   

The worst feeling ever...

I've always thought that it's down to fate whether a referees decision goes your way or not. That was before today. Today was the 2012 CISSA JV Tournament and this is where I learnt why people hate it when referees appear to be blind, biased or bonkers. We lost are first game 2-0 to MES (Modern English School), they where the best team in the tournament. They worked the first goal really well and finished it in the bottom corner giving me no chance. Are defence where nervous and in the second half they scored again, one of MES's players got one on one with me, I closed him down,  and I made a good stop with my legs, the ball was looping wide but one of the opposition charged forward and just managed to head the ball into the open net. But it was second game against ISC-6 (International School Choitfet 6th October City) that opened my eyes to bad refereeing decisions and why they are even more annoying when they happen to you. We lost 2-1, we should have won about 7-0, for two reasons, one we weren't clinical in front of goal. And two, the referee was either had very poor eyesight, didn't understand the rules of football or had been bribed by ISC-6, possibly all three. So anyway, the first goal the player was about a mile offside., the ball was played through to him no defensive players about 10 meters behind him.  Our other goalie was playing that game and he made a good save but another player followed it up to make it 1-0. Some decisions did go our way, but the frustration, the sheer hatred of the fact that you are behind and you shouldn't be filled me from head to toe. Their second goal was just as annoying they played it over the top and one of are defenders was running to collect it, the same player who scored the first goal (he was wearing the #12 shirt) was pulling at our defenders shirt, in fact he was holding more of our #4 then he was wearing. The goalie came to collect but didn't come out of his box giving the offender the chance to nip in and take it round the keeper and slot it home. Another refereeing decision so bad it would make Jorge Larrionda of Uruguay (the referee for Germany 4-1 England) forgive himself for his mistake, it was that bad. We did pull a goal back but it was to late, there #12 was sent off for a two footed from behind tackle that brought our #8 crashing to the ground with enough force to cause a small earthquake, it was a challenge that Vinnie Jones would have been proud of (I am certain they are related in some way) we almost got in a punch up on the field and I had to restrain our #8 from thumping the little scumbag, though I severely wanted to beat the c*** out of him myself. We lost the next game 4-0 to NCBIS (New Cairo British International School), the goal I let in was another poachers, there winger got in behind our defence and attemped to square it, I made a good interception with my hands but the other player was on hand to poke it home, the second was another one-on-one situation that left me with no chance. The other goalie came on at half time (not because I was playing bad) and conceded. So we headed into the 7th place play-off hoping to restore some pride against CAC (Cairo American College). We lost 2-1, another clear offside wasn't given to let there striker in, bad goalkeeping by the other goalie, he didn't close down and was easily beaten at his near post. I came on for the second half, I made a good save from a header and cleared to ball down field, our captain received it on his chest turned his marker, and as they jostled for the ball he fired a low shot into the bottom corner, me with the assist, 1-1. I made a great save from a one-on-one situation, saving a great mid-height shot full stretch around the post. Unfortunately they scored again, their was a mix up between me and #4 and the striker got in to poke it through my legs. We came last, I saw it as a good learning experience and was one of the better players in our squad. It was good training for my trip to Dubai, where we should do much better. I asked my coach if she was from Derby, weirdly she wasn't...