Is it me or does this look different...

Football is the greatest game in the world, watching 11 players walk on to a patch of grass and try and get a ball into a net using their feet inspires people from mates having a kick about in the park to kids in Africa who dream of escaping poverty through the beautiful game. Apart from the 11-a-side game there are many professional forms of the games which thousands play across the world and where many of our stars learnt their trade and thousands still ply there's. This is a guide to other, but just as beautiful, forms of the beautiful game...

Futsal
Basically professional 5-a-side, the main indoor version of the sport, played on an indoor court the size of a basketball court with a goal the size of a handball goal. The sport encourages ball control and has a great focus on tricks and skills. Many of the skills we now use in the normal game were developed in Futsal, and many football clubs have a futsal team as well. There is a FIFA Futsal World Cup held every 4 years, unsurprisingly it is usually won by Brazil or Spain though other major forces are from Eastern Europe, the Futsal Euro 2012 are currently being held in Croatia. Played over two periods of twenty minutes, the record victory is Brazil 76-0 Timor Leste, what's surprising about this is that Timor Leste have a futsal team...

RUUD BOYZ!!!

Beach Soccer

The other formally organised version of the game, beach soccer is very exciting. Played on a specifically built sand pitch with goals. Like futsal it is 5-a-side with a goalie, it is a very aerial game as ribbling is difficult on the sand. You are allowed to move the sand to suit your needs at dead ball situations, a common technique is to create a small mound and place the ball on top, or to flick the ball up to volley. Bicycle Kicks are common, it is common for one of the stats shown to be number of bicycle kicks performed. Brazil had won every world cup bar one which was one by Portugal until last year when Russia beat them in the final 12-8. The average number of goals in a game is 11.

At least you get a soft landing...

Panna

Basically 1-on-1, a game of great skill. It is not officially organised but a popular game. The aim of the game is to nutmeg your opponent, skills that look ridiculous in normal football look amazing when performed by artist who can do things with a football that would make Cristiano Ronaldo cry into his probably $30,000 satin, diamond encrusted, kakapu feather pillows. 

SKILLZ BROV...

Street football is played over the world in many forms including outdoor futsal, panna and several other small sided games. It can be scrappy it can be beautiful but one thing is for certain these sports are certain to enthral for many generations to come...

 

2012 BSME Games Dubai

The wait was over, the time had come, the moment I'd been waiting for all year had finally come. I was heading to Dubai for the 2012 U-15 BSME (British Schools in the Middle East) Games. I was there for both basketball and football and we had high hopes of performing well in the tournaments against other schools from across the region. It was our World Cup, our NBA play-offs. We flew out early on Thursday morning on Egypt Air in a Boeing 777and arrived at our hotel. The Dubai Silicone Oasis Premier Inn (everything is premier including the price in this country) to check in. After enjoying a day of relaxation at the hotel and a trip to Dubai Mall (the world's largest shopping mall) we went to bed determined to put on a good showing in the basketball. We came 4th out of 10 which isn't bad. While the girls came 5th our of 8 in the netball. So to celebrate our triumphant first day at the games we headed to Emirates Mall, unfortunately it meant we were tired for the nest day, which was the football. Our tournament could act as a microcosm for the English national team. Think we will win, are ill prepared and do OK. Considering there were 20 teams I think 5th is quite good.

With me wearing my lucky #97 jersey we headed to AUS (American University in Sharjah) with high hopes. In our first to games we shone outclassing our opponents with our free-flowing passing style, I made some good saves and almost scored, running out to clear a loose ball that went agonisingly close to the goal. We won 2-0 in the first game and 2-1 in the second, I was to blame for the goal we conceded against Alkhor, I miss judged the flight of a free-kick and it went in but we still won the game. Then came are first test, English College Dubai, I'm sorry to say we didn't rise to the challenge, losing 3-0, the first goal our defence let the striker clean through and he placed it right in the far corner. Before a great shot from just outside the area found the bottom corner. I made a great diving save from a similar situation to the first goal and made some good catches. In the second half we conceded again our other goalie let the striker round from a through ball he should have got to first. But still as long as we could beat KES (Kuwait English School) the team who'd come 2nd in the Basketball They weren't a football team though, we were nervous but ran out 1-0 winners. We came second behind ECD and faced St. Christopher of Bahrain in the quarters, they were good and we were shattered, more shattered than plate glass windows after a Jackie Chan film, the late night had killed us. We lost 2-0, a penalty for a handball, the other goalie was in and though I knew where the taker was going to put it.

Taken like a german...

So we crashed out of the tournament in 5th place which isn't bad considering we had a late night, some of the teams hadn't played basketball the day before, we had the youngest squad in the tournament and we'd had 2 team practises. I think I made a good impression on the world stage, making some good saves plus if there'd been an award for best goal scored in practise I would have won, scoring a stunning bicycle kick during a kick-about or when I weaved through 7 of our players in a game of World Cup (which we were all taking very seriously) before firing the ball into the top corner from just outside the box. But anyway it was a great experience the best trip I've ever been on and I get to go on more. Maybe in a few years you'll be hearing about the BISC #97
      

It's a numbers game...

As we know footballers are by nature very curious creatures, they like certain things to be just right. One of these things is they like a specific shirt number. It may seem like a small thing but to many professional footballers it's a big deal. I for instance wear #97 which indicates the year of my birth 1997, my score on my science SAT 97% and several other reasons that connect me to that number. This may seem like a pretty anal post but we are on a journey to see that some footballers will go to any length to wear a specific number, some get pretty silly.

Yuto Nagatomo #55
I'll start with a basic one, the Inter Milan winger is obsessed with #5 when he arrived at Inter it was already taken so he added an extra one, does that make it extra lucky?

Asamoah Gyan #21 and Antonio Cassano #99
Gyan is obsessed with the number 3, at Sunderland it was taken and 2+1=3, it was the same for Cassano he likes 18 and 9+9=18. I told you they were protective.

9x9=81 which is 18 backward, does that make it even luckier?

Hicham Zerouali

Aberdeen striker Zerouali had already gained the nickname 'Zero' so he was allowed to wear #0 for a single season. 

Not exactly confidence inspiring though... 

Diego Reyes #134 Thomas Oar #121 and Adolfo Bautista #100

Numbers over 99 are very rare but they do happen. Diego Reyes were #134 the highest squad number worn regularly in world football. In AFC Asian Cup qualifying Thomas Oar wore squad number 121 the highest ever worn in world football except for one off (he had to wear it through all the qualifying) and Bautista wore #100 as #1 had already been taken.

Come in #121 your time is up...

Pantelis Kafes #1

The only outfield player in world football to wear #1,  it's happened it England before in the nineties Stuart Balmer wore #1 for Charton. 

Just cause he wears #1 doesn't mean he can use his hands...

Andrey Shevchenko #76, Ronaldinho #80 and Mathieu Flamini #84

2008 in Milan and there three summer signing (Shevchenko on loan from Chelsea) chose squad numbers that indicated the year of there birth (1976, 1980 and 1984 respectively) as their normal/preferred numbers (#7, #10 and #16 respectively) were taken.

You'd be #75 David...

Ivan Zamorano #1+8, Firman Utina #8+7 and Freddy Rincon #3+5

Taking stuff a bit further than Gyan and Cassano, these players actually had a + sign inserted between the digits so they felt closer to there favoured numbers (though registered as #18, #87 and #35 respectively) Zamorano wore #9 until Ronaldo joined Inter and was given #9. Utina wore #8+7 as his favoured #15 shirt was taken by Aliyudin. Rincon liked #8 but it was taken so he wore #3+5 the highest shirt number available as only numbers between 1 and 35 were allowed in Brazil.

Don't you think your being a little bit silly?

To be fare we all know Ronaldo, whose heard of this guy?

Rogerio Ceni #618

Many players wear numbers on a single occasion to celebrate an event, an anniversary, to celebrate reaching 100 caps. The highest number worn in PROFESSIONAL football is #618 by all the frustrated centre-forwards between the sticks hero, free-kick maestro Rogerio Ceni to celebrate his (suprisingly) 618th appearance for Sao Paulo, notice the fact that 1 is in the middle.

If only he'd waited on more game, then you could look at this image upside down!

Thank you for reading my first post back from Dubai after a short break, I'll be commenting on the tournament when the sponsors upload the photos. So I hope you've enjoyed this brief interlude. In fact I can claim to have worn the highest number in all football. On my personalised school kit I had #97 but the printing was poor and the 7 was much higher than the 9 meaning I was wearing #9 to the power of 7 or...

#4,782,969

Friday Top 10: Mad Refereeing Desicions

I know it is wednesday but as I am not taking my computer to this years U-15 BSME Games in Dubai I thought I better bring you my Friday top 10 now. This weeks top ten subject was chosen by Gypsy King who won the caption competition for my Do the French really have style? post. This week I'll be looking at the top 10 mad refereeing desicions. Including the worst dive ever, a six-yard goal line and the curse of the stanction.

Six-yard goal line
You should really realise that you've made a terrible desicion when you award a goal and the player you award it to doesn't even celebrate. This piece of idiocy comes from those usually effiecent Germans in the German second devision, 4-0 Duisburg are cruising against FSV Frankfurt when one of there players decided to try and lob the goal keeper, it cannons off the crossbar and land about 6 yards away from the goal.

Get the man not the ball
Almost certainly the worst foul in World Cup history. In one of the best world cup games ever, famous for the last minute Klaus Fischer bicycle kick in a thrilling 3-3 draw that went to penalties that surprisingly the german's won (now when was the last time that happened?) kamikaze keeper Schumacher collided with Patrick Battison he wasn't even trying to get the ball, summoning the spirit of Chuck Norris he twists his body in mid-air and crashes into the French men. He wasn't even booked and the referee was awarded a 9.4 rating for his performence in that game.

HIYA!!!

Three card trick
I couldn't find the video but you all know it. Graeme Poll, possibly the best referee in the world at the time, gave two yellow cards without sending him off, he did send Josip Simunic off after a third but it was still the refereeing equivalent of carving your own tombstone. Apparently he recorded Simunic in his book for the first yellow card as "Australias #3" apparently Simunic had an Aussie accent?

Accent or not, since when did Australia play in red and white checks?

The Oscar for best actor goes to...
Junior Barranquilla for this marvolous piece of improvistation and convincingness, he bursts into the box and with no America de Cali players within about 7 meters of him, he throws himself to the deck like he's just been hit by a flying Michael Schumacher. Amazingly it was given, though Barranquilla did get sent off later, was banned for 3 games for blantent cheating, however Nino the referee was back refereeing within days.

Give or take a meter...
This is a famous one, possibly the most famour perversion of justice in Premier League, Carroll rushes out to clear a ball that only find Pedro Mendes, who goes for a audacious 50-yard lob, Carroll gets back and sets himself to catch, it lands in his arms and he basically throws the ball over his head into the goal, it's about a meter over the line. Incredibly not given and I think we should make Frank Lampard watch that over and over again for rehabilitation.

I think it might just have crossed the line, only just though...

OK just watch real close and you'll see...
This is an incredible goal, for the fact the ball doesn't cross the line and it's awarded. nigel bannister flagged for a goal that never gets anywhere near the line. The video tells you where it's meant to have happened and I can't see it. Not that the Watford fans complained. Stuart Atwell is the Premier Leagues youngest referee but it is the linesman to blame for this howler.

THE CURSE OF THE STANCTION (dun duun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun)
You have to be pretty unlucky for the ball to hit the net and ricochet out and the goal not be given, you're probably about as unlucky as someone who lives under a ladder and whose job it is to smash mirrors with black cats if it happens twice, but this has happened to Crystal Palace, in 1980 and absolute pile-driver, rockets into the top corner and rebounds out, not given. 30 years later, a goal not as goal that rebounds out of the tightly strung net and is not given. Unlucky or have they been cursed?

Bribary or Idiocy, you decide?
Again I couldn't find the video. 1982 World Cup in Spain, Spain playing against Yugoslavia, Spain 1-0 down. Danish referee gives penalty for foul two-yards outside penalty area. Keeper saves but moved off his line despite the fact both his boots are on it and Spain offered the re-take, they score. End up winning 2-1. You can see why the Mexicans are descended from the Spanish.

Ball boy...GOLASO
From Brazil, team almost equalise and as the keeper goes to get the ball a ball boy puts it in the net with the referee's back turned. He turnes back around and sees the ball in the goal and gives it. And they call the supporters the twelth man, not anymore...

What to choose, what to choose...
I didn't want to be an english snob and choose the three terrible descisions that have effected our national team, so of Hand of God, Lampard goast goal and Koeman no red card I chose...Maradona, there was no question. I mean both of the others where blatent but this was justso inconcivable that you'd not get a foul. Though I for one am glad it was given. It meant he'd go onto score the goal of the century.

Thanks for reading this weeks top ten. I hope you've enjoyed it. I'm not going to rank them this week as they are all of equal awefullnes. There are war heroes who've lost both eyes fighting for there country who would have seen some of these. I suppose it's just down to luck...

How to be a professional footballer even if your terrible...

The answer is...be Brazilian. I know that may be difficulty for those people who live in Nepal or Eastern Siberia but there is sound reasoning in my idea. Be Brazilian means people gain a pre-ordained conception of you...you must be good at football. Brazilian Footballer is like French Chef, Tibetan Monk, German Engineer, Swiss Banker, Mexican Drug Dealer, Pakistani corner shop owner etc. It's one of those countries that just goes with a profession. For clubs having a Brazilian on your team is a sign of quality, a sign that you are a good team as a Brazilian has chosen to play for you and of course all Brazilian are good at football. Many signing of Brazilians good or bad has not just been down to there talent but because the owners want a Brazilian in there team. Robinho was signed for Man City for two reasons a) because he is an incredible player, certainly one of the best in this decade and b) because he is Brazilian and Man City's new owners wanted to show there intentions by buying a Brazilian as this would make there team look good.

"That'll be £32.5 million please Mr. Sheikh, Lord, High, Majesty, Sir..."

Though he failed to shine in the Premier League past his first season, Robinho was still a quality player. There are hundreds of Brazilians who play in the Eastern European league's, they aren't very good (though some of them are) but the teams like having them because the fact a Brazilian plays for means of course they are a good team. FC Shakhtar Donetsk of the Ukraine currently have 8 Brazilians in there squads with another one out of loan plus former Arsenal man Eduardo who is Brazilian but plays for Croatia. 

Why has he got braided jelly worms for hair?

Adriano and Marcelo at Barcalona and Real Madrid don't get much playing time for them but they are still Brazilian, but this is different as without them we'd still think of FCB and RMCF as quality teams, but anyway.  So if you dream of being a professional footballer, move to Brazil, take Brazilian nationality, give yourself a nickname preferably beginning with Ro- and ending in -inho, or at least something ending in -o and your almost guaranteed a career as a footballer. Simple as.

The Earthopa League?

Most national teams will never grace the footballing worlds biggest stage, which is of course the World Cup. That right is reserved for a select few national teams and the best of the rest of world football who are really there to make up the numbers. There are thousands of players who play fro there national team but will never get the chance to show their skill in front of a global audience, the population of that country won't ever feel the jubilation and pain that comes with success or failure on the world stage. However have come with a solution that is possibly the greatest idea in football since the guy who decided football would be played using your feet. We run a separate tournament, the summer after the World Cup for national teams who weren't good enough to qualify for the World Cup. You wouldn't run a separate qualifying event you'd just use the teams who didn't reach the World Cup qualifying bracket. The format would be the same as the World Cup with 32 teams. With the attention of the world not on any major international tournament they could watch the smaller teams battle it out for a trophy that for them would be like the world cup, a chance to prove themselves and be successful on a global stage in front of (hopefully) millions. I'm sorry this was such a short post.

And now for something completely different...

This post gets me passed number 20, something I told myself I'd pass just to prove I had the ability, and I must say I'm impressed with myself, so to celebrate this momentous achievement I thought I'd look at the best things to do with 21 in world football.

Mexico national football team

Officially the 21st best team in the world according to the FIFA Rankings, with a very strong youth set up Mexico could be challenging for prizes in a few years. One of the best of the rest of international football.

World no. 21 Mexico's no. 21

David Silva

Arguably the best player in the Premier League, the extremely gifted midfielder has everything, passing, pase and precision along with a good eye for goal other footballing greats to wear #21 include Andrea Pirlo, Pablo Aimar and Zinedine Zidane (though only at Juventus)

1954 FIFA World Cup

In this world cup no fewer than 21 players scored at least 3 goals at the tournament. Though you must remember this did include the free scoring Hungary side that can be ranked as one of the best teams of all time include the great Puskas.

Japan National Women's Football Team

On two occasions have this team put 21 goals past an opponent, the first in 1997 against Guam before early last year putting 21 past Palestine. Which is quite impressive you must admit.

Do you think she knows they're about to lose 21-0...

Richard Butcher and Daniel Jarque

You probably haven't heard of them (I hadn't either until I started doing research) but these are the only two people in world football who have had the squad number 21 retired for them, both cause they died. Aged 29 and 26. When Andres Iniesta scored the winner in the World Cup he took off his shirt to reveal a t-shirt saying Daniel Jarque always with us.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Lyon

The 21'st best club team of all time, the team that won 7 league titles in a row will have difficulty losing there crown as possibly the most successful club team domestically in the last decade.

Nawaf Al Abed

I may be stretching it a little but this deserves a mention. 2.1 seconds into a Saudi Arabian league fixture between Al-Hilal and Al Shoalah, Al Abed scored the fastest goal in football history. Please don't stone me for this crime.

The game kicks off and it's one nil...

Thank you for hopefully reading me bable on about 21, but I feel quite proud of myself as usually I can' commit to an intellectual project. #21 seems to pop quite randomly in football but that doesn't matter. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow don't worry...