It's a numbers game...

As we know footballers are by nature very curious creatures, they like certain things to be just right. One of these things is they like a specific shirt number. It may seem like a small thing but to many professional footballers it's a big deal. I for instance wear #97 which indicates the year of my birth 1997, my score on my science SAT 97% and several other reasons that connect me to that number. This may seem like a pretty anal post but we are on a journey to see that some footballers will go to any length to wear a specific number, some get pretty silly.

Yuto Nagatomo #55
I'll start with a basic one, the Inter Milan winger is obsessed with #5 when he arrived at Inter it was already taken so he added an extra one, does that make it extra lucky?

Asamoah Gyan #21 and Antonio Cassano #99
Gyan is obsessed with the number 3, at Sunderland it was taken and 2+1=3, it was the same for Cassano he likes 18 and 9+9=18. I told you they were protective.

9x9=81 which is 18 backward, does that make it even luckier?

Hicham Zerouali

Aberdeen striker Zerouali had already gained the nickname 'Zero' so he was allowed to wear #0 for a single season. 

Not exactly confidence inspiring though... 

Diego Reyes #134 Thomas Oar #121 and Adolfo Bautista #100

Numbers over 99 are very rare but they do happen. Diego Reyes were #134 the highest squad number worn regularly in world football. In AFC Asian Cup qualifying Thomas Oar wore squad number 121 the highest ever worn in world football except for one off (he had to wear it through all the qualifying) and Bautista wore #100 as #1 had already been taken.

Come in #121 your time is up...

Pantelis Kafes #1

The only outfield player in world football to wear #1,  it's happened it England before in the nineties Stuart Balmer wore #1 for Charton. 

Just cause he wears #1 doesn't mean he can use his hands...

Andrey Shevchenko #76, Ronaldinho #80 and Mathieu Flamini #84

2008 in Milan and there three summer signing (Shevchenko on loan from Chelsea) chose squad numbers that indicated the year of there birth (1976, 1980 and 1984 respectively) as their normal/preferred numbers (#7, #10 and #16 respectively) were taken.

You'd be #75 David...

Ivan Zamorano #1+8, Firman Utina #8+7 and Freddy Rincon #3+5

Taking stuff a bit further than Gyan and Cassano, these players actually had a + sign inserted between the digits so they felt closer to there favoured numbers (though registered as #18, #87 and #35 respectively) Zamorano wore #9 until Ronaldo joined Inter and was given #9. Utina wore #8+7 as his favoured #15 shirt was taken by Aliyudin. Rincon liked #8 but it was taken so he wore #3+5 the highest shirt number available as only numbers between 1 and 35 were allowed in Brazil.

Don't you think your being a little bit silly?

To be fare we all know Ronaldo, whose heard of this guy?

Rogerio Ceni #618

Many players wear numbers on a single occasion to celebrate an event, an anniversary, to celebrate reaching 100 caps. The highest number worn in PROFESSIONAL football is #618 by all the frustrated centre-forwards between the sticks hero, free-kick maestro Rogerio Ceni to celebrate his (suprisingly) 618th appearance for Sao Paulo, notice the fact that 1 is in the middle.

If only he'd waited on more game, then you could look at this image upside down!

Thank you for reading my first post back from Dubai after a short break, I'll be commenting on the tournament when the sponsors upload the photos. So I hope you've enjoyed this brief interlude. In fact I can claim to have worn the highest number in all football. On my personalised school kit I had #97 but the printing was poor and the 7 was much higher than the 9 meaning I was wearing #9 to the power of 7 or...

#4,782,969

Friday Top 10: Mad Refereeing Desicions

I know it is wednesday but as I am not taking my computer to this years U-15 BSME Games in Dubai I thought I better bring you my Friday top 10 now. This weeks top ten subject was chosen by Gypsy King who won the caption competition for my Do the French really have style? post. This week I'll be looking at the top 10 mad refereeing desicions. Including the worst dive ever, a six-yard goal line and the curse of the stanction.

Six-yard goal line
You should really realise that you've made a terrible desicion when you award a goal and the player you award it to doesn't even celebrate. This piece of idiocy comes from those usually effiecent Germans in the German second devision, 4-0 Duisburg are cruising against FSV Frankfurt when one of there players decided to try and lob the goal keeper, it cannons off the crossbar and land about 6 yards away from the goal.

Get the man not the ball
Almost certainly the worst foul in World Cup history. In one of the best world cup games ever, famous for the last minute Klaus Fischer bicycle kick in a thrilling 3-3 draw that went to penalties that surprisingly the german's won (now when was the last time that happened?) kamikaze keeper Schumacher collided with Patrick Battison he wasn't even trying to get the ball, summoning the spirit of Chuck Norris he twists his body in mid-air and crashes into the French men. He wasn't even booked and the referee was awarded a 9.4 rating for his performence in that game.

HIYA!!!

Three card trick
I couldn't find the video but you all know it. Graeme Poll, possibly the best referee in the world at the time, gave two yellow cards without sending him off, he did send Josip Simunic off after a third but it was still the refereeing equivalent of carving your own tombstone. Apparently he recorded Simunic in his book for the first yellow card as "Australias #3" apparently Simunic had an Aussie accent?

Accent or not, since when did Australia play in red and white checks?

The Oscar for best actor goes to...
Junior Barranquilla for this marvolous piece of improvistation and convincingness, he bursts into the box and with no America de Cali players within about 7 meters of him, he throws himself to the deck like he's just been hit by a flying Michael Schumacher. Amazingly it was given, though Barranquilla did get sent off later, was banned for 3 games for blantent cheating, however Nino the referee was back refereeing within days.

Give or take a meter...
This is a famous one, possibly the most famour perversion of justice in Premier League, Carroll rushes out to clear a ball that only find Pedro Mendes, who goes for a audacious 50-yard lob, Carroll gets back and sets himself to catch, it lands in his arms and he basically throws the ball over his head into the goal, it's about a meter over the line. Incredibly not given and I think we should make Frank Lampard watch that over and over again for rehabilitation.

I think it might just have crossed the line, only just though...

OK just watch real close and you'll see...
This is an incredible goal, for the fact the ball doesn't cross the line and it's awarded. nigel bannister flagged for a goal that never gets anywhere near the line. The video tells you where it's meant to have happened and I can't see it. Not that the Watford fans complained. Stuart Atwell is the Premier Leagues youngest referee but it is the linesman to blame for this howler.

THE CURSE OF THE STANCTION (dun duun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun)
You have to be pretty unlucky for the ball to hit the net and ricochet out and the goal not be given, you're probably about as unlucky as someone who lives under a ladder and whose job it is to smash mirrors with black cats if it happens twice, but this has happened to Crystal Palace, in 1980 and absolute pile-driver, rockets into the top corner and rebounds out, not given. 30 years later, a goal not as goal that rebounds out of the tightly strung net and is not given. Unlucky or have they been cursed?

Bribary or Idiocy, you decide?
Again I couldn't find the video. 1982 World Cup in Spain, Spain playing against Yugoslavia, Spain 1-0 down. Danish referee gives penalty for foul two-yards outside penalty area. Keeper saves but moved off his line despite the fact both his boots are on it and Spain offered the re-take, they score. End up winning 2-1. You can see why the Mexicans are descended from the Spanish.

Ball boy...GOLASO
From Brazil, team almost equalise and as the keeper goes to get the ball a ball boy puts it in the net with the referee's back turned. He turnes back around and sees the ball in the goal and gives it. And they call the supporters the twelth man, not anymore...

What to choose, what to choose...
I didn't want to be an english snob and choose the three terrible descisions that have effected our national team, so of Hand of God, Lampard goast goal and Koeman no red card I chose...Maradona, there was no question. I mean both of the others where blatent but this was justso inconcivable that you'd not get a foul. Though I for one am glad it was given. It meant he'd go onto score the goal of the century.

Thanks for reading this weeks top ten. I hope you've enjoyed it. I'm not going to rank them this week as they are all of equal awefullnes. There are war heroes who've lost both eyes fighting for there country who would have seen some of these. I suppose it's just down to luck...

How to be a professional footballer even if your terrible...

The answer is...be Brazilian. I know that may be difficulty for those people who live in Nepal or Eastern Siberia but there is sound reasoning in my idea. Be Brazilian means people gain a pre-ordained conception of you...you must be good at football. Brazilian Footballer is like French Chef, Tibetan Monk, German Engineer, Swiss Banker, Mexican Drug Dealer, Pakistani corner shop owner etc. It's one of those countries that just goes with a profession. For clubs having a Brazilian on your team is a sign of quality, a sign that you are a good team as a Brazilian has chosen to play for you and of course all Brazilian are good at football. Many signing of Brazilians good or bad has not just been down to there talent but because the owners want a Brazilian in there team. Robinho was signed for Man City for two reasons a) because he is an incredible player, certainly one of the best in this decade and b) because he is Brazilian and Man City's new owners wanted to show there intentions by buying a Brazilian as this would make there team look good.

"That'll be £32.5 million please Mr. Sheikh, Lord, High, Majesty, Sir..."

Though he failed to shine in the Premier League past his first season, Robinho was still a quality player. There are hundreds of Brazilians who play in the Eastern European league's, they aren't very good (though some of them are) but the teams like having them because the fact a Brazilian plays for means of course they are a good team. FC Shakhtar Donetsk of the Ukraine currently have 8 Brazilians in there squads with another one out of loan plus former Arsenal man Eduardo who is Brazilian but plays for Croatia. 

Why has he got braided jelly worms for hair?

Adriano and Marcelo at Barcalona and Real Madrid don't get much playing time for them but they are still Brazilian, but this is different as without them we'd still think of FCB and RMCF as quality teams, but anyway.  So if you dream of being a professional footballer, move to Brazil, take Brazilian nationality, give yourself a nickname preferably beginning with Ro- and ending in -inho, or at least something ending in -o and your almost guaranteed a career as a footballer. Simple as.

The Earthopa League?

Most national teams will never grace the footballing worlds biggest stage, which is of course the World Cup. That right is reserved for a select few national teams and the best of the rest of world football who are really there to make up the numbers. There are thousands of players who play fro there national team but will never get the chance to show their skill in front of a global audience, the population of that country won't ever feel the jubilation and pain that comes with success or failure on the world stage. However have come with a solution that is possibly the greatest idea in football since the guy who decided football would be played using your feet. We run a separate tournament, the summer after the World Cup for national teams who weren't good enough to qualify for the World Cup. You wouldn't run a separate qualifying event you'd just use the teams who didn't reach the World Cup qualifying bracket. The format would be the same as the World Cup with 32 teams. With the attention of the world not on any major international tournament they could watch the smaller teams battle it out for a trophy that for them would be like the world cup, a chance to prove themselves and be successful on a global stage in front of (hopefully) millions. I'm sorry this was such a short post.

And now for something completely different...

This post gets me passed number 20, something I told myself I'd pass just to prove I had the ability, and I must say I'm impressed with myself, so to celebrate this momentous achievement I thought I'd look at the best things to do with 21 in world football.

Mexico national football team

Officially the 21st best team in the world according to the FIFA Rankings, with a very strong youth set up Mexico could be challenging for prizes in a few years. One of the best of the rest of international football.

World no. 21 Mexico's no. 21

David Silva

Arguably the best player in the Premier League, the extremely gifted midfielder has everything, passing, pase and precision along with a good eye for goal other footballing greats to wear #21 include Andrea Pirlo, Pablo Aimar and Zinedine Zidane (though only at Juventus)

1954 FIFA World Cup

In this world cup no fewer than 21 players scored at least 3 goals at the tournament. Though you must remember this did include the free scoring Hungary side that can be ranked as one of the best teams of all time include the great Puskas.

Japan National Women's Football Team

On two occasions have this team put 21 goals past an opponent, the first in 1997 against Guam before early last year putting 21 past Palestine. Which is quite impressive you must admit.

Do you think she knows they're about to lose 21-0...

Richard Butcher and Daniel Jarque

You probably haven't heard of them (I hadn't either until I started doing research) but these are the only two people in world football who have had the squad number 21 retired for them, both cause they died. Aged 29 and 26. When Andres Iniesta scored the winner in the World Cup he took off his shirt to reveal a t-shirt saying Daniel Jarque always with us.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Lyon

The 21'st best club team of all time, the team that won 7 league titles in a row will have difficulty losing there crown as possibly the most successful club team domestically in the last decade.

Nawaf Al Abed

I may be stretching it a little but this deserves a mention. 2.1 seconds into a Saudi Arabian league fixture between Al-Hilal and Al Shoalah, Al Abed scored the fastest goal in football history. Please don't stone me for this crime.

The game kicks off and it's one nil...

Thank you for hopefully reading me bable on about 21, but I feel quite proud of myself as usually I can' commit to an intellectual project. #21 seems to pop quite randomly in football but that doesn't matter. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow don't worry...

 

  

Manchester 13-3 North London: Five Months Later...

In terms of all human history several days mark very key events in the development of our race: The day the wheel was invented, the day they paced the capstone on the Great Pyramid, the day Jesus was born, the Battle of Hastings, the start of the two world wars and the day the Berlin Wall fell done. but in the minds of English football fans few days will stick in the memory more (except of course for the 1966 World Cup Final and England 5-1 Germany) than the 28th of August 2011 when the whole country sat up and took notice of Manchester as not just one, but two clubs. The air was thick with anticipation as the two title favourites faced their faced big test of the 2011/2012 season. Man City vs Tottenham and Man U vs Arsenal. And both rose to the challenge superbly. it started at White Heart Lane, with talk of Modric leaving and there 3-0 loss to Man U the week before left an air of despair around the ground, and that feeling would only thicken. Samir Nasri did brilliantly on his debut for Man City. Edin Dzeko produced a solo display that is probably one of the best you'll ever see. He scored 4 goals, his positioning, passing and predatory instincts where perfect as they ran out 5-1, Kaboul's header providing a tiny consilation. The first goal was a beautifully worked goal, finished by Dzeko flying boot, the second was possibly the greatest header of Premier league history, he somehow manged to head back across the keeper from a near impossible position. He just had to guide in the third, a great solo effort from Aguero before Dzeko curled in a magnificant forth to claim the match ball, that goal also won MOTD's Goal of the month for August.

Roberto Mancini was still annoyed that they conceded 1 goal but it was still team display worthy of Barcelona. It really was a landmark day in the history of Man City Football Club and really announced there intentions about winning titles. Man City went on to have the longest unbeaten streak in the Premier League before Chelsea broke there run. But they are still a great team and next season they will be even better. 

It seemed that anything that City could do Man U could do better. Facing an extremely weakened Arsenal missing Nasri and Fabregas as well as sporting several youth teamers making their debuts. They were destroyed, they played so badly that, well you know the American Samoa reference. It ended Man U 8-2 Arsenal. It seemed every time they went for goal they scored and they scored some beauties. Welbecks header, Young's curler, Rooney's free-kick, Rooney's second free-kick, Nani's chip, Park's placed, Rooney's penalty and Young second curler inflicted a huge defeat upon the Gunners. They were about 20 levels below bad and man U weren't even playing there best, they've certainly produced better performances this season. 

But now five months on things are looking very different as both side prepare to squad up again on the same day in the reverse fixture, North London is out for revenge:

Man City

Out of Europe, out of FA Cup and on a bad run of form, lost valuable points in the last few games, notlooking as good as they did in the 5-1 win but still a very good team and will be one of the favourites for the Europa League. If they can make some good signings in the transfer window to help with the two month absence of Kolo and Yaya Toure among some to the CAF African Cup of Nations they should be fine, still on course for title.

Man Utd

Out of Europe, even more embarrassing seeing as they had an easy group. Had a run of bad losses including the 3-0 loss at home to newcastle and of course the 6-1 loss to Man City, still playing well but Rooney isn't. Like Man City still one of the main title contenders.

Tottenham Hotspur

Despite there poor start to the season Spurs are now playing really well and have caught up with the Manchester clubs playing really good football. Almost guaranteed a Champions League spot, they should get a good result at the Etihad, a draw at the minimum.

Arsenal

Despite there abysmal start to the campaign the gunners have picked up really well (though mainly down to Van Persie with a strike rate so good that Ronaldo Messi and Cekulajevs would be proud of) though they have gone further in the Champions League and may be able to push for a spot in Europe's elite next year 

(though the Europa League looks more likely)

Tomorrows games look to be interesting contests with the teams not as one sided as they were five months ago, they should be packed with goals (though not as many for one side) great football and great memories though will it be fore the Londoners or the Mancunians?

Friday Top 10: Champions League Group Stage Goals 2011/2012

As the start of the knock-out stages of the worlds premier club competition get ever closer, I look back at what was a group stage to remember, both Manchester clubs not getting through, Lyon managing a 7 goal swing on the last day to gain second place and of course APOEL (what do you mean you've never heard of them?) becoming the first Cypriot side to qualify for the knock-out stage, where the battle to be crowned Europe's best club really starts to heat up. I will assess the ten best goals of this seasons group stage, from free-kick thunderbolts to passing mastery, this lists got it all...

Ivan PERISIC vs Arsenal Matchday 1
An absolute peach. In the 88th minute Ivan Perisic (no 44 ironically), clearly a graduate of the Paul Scholes school of volleying, produced a moment of magic worthy of any Europe's top clubs and announced the fact that Dortmund where back in Europe. A good delivery from a free-kick but the header is well won by Kieran Gibbs, Perisic sets him self and catches the volley perfectly sending it flying into the top corner, salvaging a point for Dortmund, a sensational strike. Szczesny doesn't even move.

Cristiano RONALDO vs Ajax Matchday 2
One touch passing at it's very best, leading to a sublime team goal. Great tackle by Romas who gives it to Ozil, who gives it to Ronaldo, plays a beautiful one-two with Kaka before playing it to Ozil, Benzema is charging down the wing and Ozil picks him out first time, Benzema then (also first time) drives a lovely cross across the box for Ronaldo to hammer the ball home back across the keeper. Really was pure gold.

Pure gold, ironic considering the Real Madrid's colours... 

Bafetimbi GOMIS vs Dinamo Zagreb Matchday 2 
No commentary to the video but if there was it would go something like this. "Oh and there been a mix-up in the Dinamo midfield and its set Gomis on his way... the chip and what a goal that is what a goal that is. A quite fantastic goal from outside the area, to get that much elevation and to get it back down..." it just says it all.

Damn I shouldn't have come out...

HULK vs Shakhtar Donetsk Matchday 1
Despite what the commentary says you can't actually blame the goalie for this thumper. Summoning the spirit of Roberto Carlos, this is basically a carbon copy of that goal. Hulk leathers it and bends it around the wall, in fact you should commend the keeper for actually getting hands to it. But the shot just has so much power in it, and it was going extremely close to the post, the keeper can only succeed in redirecting it into the top corner.

Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs BATE Borisov Matchday 3
The first of two goals from the Prince of Milan, a  good cross field ball looking for Taiwo is beautifully pulled down by Boateng instead, and with hardly any back lift he sends it flying in off the crossbar, one of those "Don't even bother goalkeeper..." moments.

Alan DZAGOEV vs Inter Milan Matchday 2
A very clever free-kick. The young boy from North Ossetia is already making a storm in his homeland and the free-kick is one of his may talents. The man targeted by Chelsea gets the most incredible bend and swerve, Julio Cesar in the Inter goal thinks the ball is heading for the top corner but the bends whips it back across him into the roof of the net past his flailing hand as he justs acts as spectator to a fantastic free-kick. A shot Russian missiles boffins would have been proud of.

Oscar CARDOZO vs Manchester United Matchday 1
Man U where hoping for a good start to there Champions League campaign but one of Europe's most lethal marksmen, Oscar Cardozo was thinking differently. Nicolas Gaitan on the far side, gets the ball and sends and incredible pass with the outside of his boot to pick out Cardozo. Who controls with chest, sublimely turns Johnny Evans before sending a fierce dipping shot back across Lindegaard into the bottom corner. Man U crashed out of Europe and this was the first wound that led to there collapse.

And what happens next...Man U out of Europe!!!

Jelle VOSSEN vs Bayer Levekusen Matchday 6
Racing Genk actually acquitted themselves quite well in there first season in the Champions League (they did lose 5-0 and 7-0 though) including an incredible draw with Chelsea. Genk where out of Europe all together on the final matchday, but Jelle Vossen saw them out in style.  A powerful low cross from the wing that looked destined to miss everybody was incredibly turned in on the volley that flew into the bottom corner. Vossen somehow contorted his body to fire the ball home brilliantly.

Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs FC Barcelona Matchday 5
Somehow controlling a ball with his foot that Peter Crouch wouldn't be able to reach, on the edge of the area, Boateng pulls the ball down, bamboozles Abidal with a lovely piece of skill before smashing the ball in at the near post. Goalkeeping maybe questionable but still a wonderful goal.

Mathieu VALBUENA vs Borussia Dortmund Matchday 6
Marseilles (yes the ones in the orange) needed a win on the final matchday to go through. With scores locks at 2-2 Valbuena produces a goal of incredible skill to send Marseilles into the knock-out stage. A throw in from the right, Valbuena weaves passed one player, performs a lovely drag back to get past the second and into box takes a touch and curls/fires a magnificant shot into the top corner.

A goal so good, you can almost excuse the shirts...almost

So as the train of footballing time trundles on toward the next station of the 2011/2012 UEFA Champions League Knock-Out stage and Man U and Man City stand on the last platform having got off at the last station, this is where the competition really starts. A cracking group stage, lit up with some fantastic goals. The top ten are.

10. Oscar CARDOZO vs Manchester United

9. HULK vs Shakhtar Donetsk

8. Jelle VOSSEN vs Bayer Levekusen

7. Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs BATE Borisov

6. Alan DZAGOEV vs Inter Milan

5. Mathieu VALBUENA vs Borussia Dortmund

4. Kevin-Prince BOATENG vs FC Barcelona

3. Bafetimbi GOMIS vs Dinamo Zagreb

2. Critiano RONALDO vs Ajax

1. Ivan PERISIC vs Arsenal

So Ivan Perisic's stunning volley win this weeks Friday Top 10. I for one can't wait for a knock-out stage filled with drama, pain, happiness and of course great goals. I will bring the list for the whole champions league after the final in Munich on the 19th of May. If you don't agree with the ranking or can suggest another goal that should have been included please comment.

Next weeks Friday top ten (though it will be posted in Wednesday as I'm in DUBAI on the Friday) will be Top 10 Mad Referee decisions, so stat tuned for the 6 yards goal line, the worst dive ever and of course, the horrible CURSE OF THE STANCHION!!! 

   

A Guide to keeping footballers

Footballers are by very natures curious creatures. They can be found roaming the every corner of the globe, often settling in colonies called 'teams', some teams are bigger and stronger than others. The 'teams' are constantly at war with each other looking to gain dominance. They come in many shapes, sizes and breeds. They are very difficult, changes of 'teams' are very common and the best players can go for millions of pounds. The big chiefs of the 'teams' have a lot of difficulty keeping there best players. To keep footballers you need to give them money, food, playing time and a host of other things they need to make them feel happy, like a specific shirt number etc.

(In David Attenborough voice) Breeds include...Zebra's  

"It's all down to Rice Krispies" said Luther Blissett when he joined AC Milan. More on Rice Krispies later. You need to keep your players loyal so you give them what they want. If a young Russian player arrives at a club with his family you have to make it easy for him, you get him a house, a language teacher, a car, a school if they have kids. This is where Rice Krispies comes in, if they is something specific a player wants, a club need to get it for him so he feels secure at the club. AC Milan are the best at this, when you arrive they lay on everything for you and make sure you like it.

...Tigers

Some examples of bad induction include, for the first few months of his Chelsea career Didier Drogba and his family where stuck in a hotel while Drogba searched for a house, something Chelsea and there huge financial backing should have provided. When Steven Piennar joined Ajax (with the best youth system in the world) they were stuck in a concrete box of a flat with nothing in it but a pair of speakers they'd bought from South Africa.

...Flamingos 

Even Man City don't do it. Though if are playing new recruits £100,000 a week they may not care, Rice Krispies or not.

Why England aren't the best...

There is only one way to have good national team, have lots of money. Money is what most people are in football for, there is no getting away from it. There are the masses who love football because it is football (is there any other reason) but those people apart from the players are in football for money, almost all the FIFA executives aren't former footballers, they're businessmen who are willing to sacrifice are beloved game for a few extra zero's added onto a bank account in Switzerland (why do you think FIFA and UEFA are based there?) Money is what does everything for the game, look at any aspect of football and you can boil it own to money in some form or another, even seven year olds kicking a ball around on a rain sodden pitch while there parents cheer for them from the touchline in deckchairs drinking coffee from flasks, money is everywhere in the game and there is no getting away from it.

And people are worried about global warming, this is a real global disaster...

National teams especially need a big economy to drive them to greatness, the only exceptions are the USA and Australia, who invest in their own versions of 'football' or what we should call 'called-football-but-has-very-limited-use-of-the-foot-involved-so-should-actually-be-called-american/australian-rugby-don't-be-ridiculous-in-calling-it-football-you-silly-rednecks/pommies' (takes deep breath), but if you look at all the strong footballing nations they all have the backing of strong/large economies, I challenge you to name one. Even Brazil has the sixth biggest economy in the world. Actually, you could say Argentina and Mexico but even then they don't have economies you'd call small (plus Argentina have Lionel Messi). having a good national football team is a sign of strength. It's a good thing the cold war wasn't decided by a football match (real football, not fake 'football' with all the girlie padding and use of hands) as we'd now all be sitting in Gulag's in Siberia and saying 'comrade' to every one. And the one thing all the big teams seem to agree on is that the thing you invest most in youth football, the reason Spain and Germany are the two of the best teams in the world is the fact that they have great youth set ups. Real Madrid and Barcelona use there reserve teams as a way of training the young talent. This is the reason we don't do well, we rely to heavily on old talent, the way the German youth teams play is the exactly the same as the way the seniors do so when they get called up it is no challenge for them to fit into the senior squad. It is the opposite for England. If we did this then we would do better in major tournaments. It's not like we don't have the talent or anything, it's just we haven't got the right system. This is why we aren't the best. There seems to be only only one way to be successful and not follow this model. Be Brazil...       

The most annoying people in football...

I am lucky enough to play for my school team, it's like a badge of honour you carry around, you can be the most annoying geek with a skin condition and a liking for Justin Beiber and Hannah Montana but if your on the football team (though you probably wouldn't be if you fitted that description, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes) you have like a automatic rite to certain things. We have spent are lives learning to play the game to a level that makes us one of the best 11 players in you age bracket or maybe even the school. So the thing we find most annoying is people who don't understand criticising us on our play. For instance in one of our PE lessons we were playing football, I came out of my goal and closed the angle, managed to make the attacker fire his shot wide. The teacher and my team-mates praised me for good goalkeeping, then the kid who'd forgotten his PE kit and was listening to music (Hannah Montana possibly?) walks up behind and starts ripping into me about how I should have stayed into my goal and left half the goal exposed. I mean this is a kid whose idea of fun is sitting at his computer writing annoying Facebook posts and listening to dubstep. Coming out to narrow the angle is the one of those main laws of how to play football, like you kick the ball with your feet and you score a goal by getting the ball over the line. And here was a geeky kid, who is so bad at football the Plymouth Argyle under-5's girls team would except on talent and skills grounds and hair that looks like a Wayne Rooney job, talking to me like he was Alan Hansen. Being criticised by your team mates is good, as you know they know just as much as you, but fans who think they know the game but really have no idea. It's the same at pro level, I read an article by FourFourTwo's secret columnist about how most players cant stand fans. But there is a major difference, players don' have to put up with fans all-day five day's a week like us at school have to. However at school they can't use the time-honoured "I play your wages..." line.  So yeah, though at school they're not 'fans' you still have to put up with them, and most of us who do play for teams can't put up with them at all.       

New Kids on the Block...

With news of the golden generation of England's players ending I thought I'd look at some of England's new starlets as well as some of the best young talent from around the world. Football is increasingly becoming a young man, even in the Italian league which was once the old peoples home of footballers is full of some vibrant young stars who look set to like to light up the global stage in the future. 

England:

Jack Wilshere aged 20

As our national team finally starts to include some new talent in an increasingly ageing squad one player looks to be the replacement for Lampard or Gerrard, drawing comparisons with the like of Xavi and Iniesta, Wilshere looks to have secured himself a place in the future of the England team. With great control and a keen eye for the pass, the immensely talent 20 year old is surely a worthy replacement for the old guard.

Daniel Sturridge aged 22

Has scored more goals this season than Anelka, Torres and Drogba combined, Sturridge looks to be the future of the England front line, he should serve as good replacement in the first two games of the Euro's for Wayne Rooney, clinical in front of goal the young striker made a name for himself on loan to Bolton. He scored one of the goals of this season, a cute backheel vs Sunderland.

Raheem Sterling aged 17

Hailed as the new John Barnes, this Jamaican born winger is the shining light in Liverpool's reinvigorated academy, he scored 5 times in a 9-0 rout of Southend in the FA Youth Cup. With enough pace to make Aaron Lennon and Theo Walcott look like John Prescott. Top scorer for England in this years U-17 World Cup in Mexico.

Brazil:

Neymar aged 19 

An incredible player and definitely the best on this list, Neymar is already being hailed by Pele as the best in the world (You can't get much better praise...) his skill on the ball in unrivalled, appears to be able to score from anywhere on the pitch, and weaves through the opposition like a squirrel through trees while on steroids. An incredible talent, and surely will be the best player in the world at some point in the future.

Lucas Piazon aged 17

Not just in looks but in talent as well, Piazon is already being compared to Kaka, the Brazilian who was the best player in the world for the middle of the 2000's. Signed by Chelsea, he will be eligible to play for the first team when he turns 18, already free-scoring in the reserve league.

Germany:

Mario Goetze aged 19

You already know about the world conquering side of Ozil, Muller and Khedira but Goetze is the little extra that just rounds off one of the best international teams on the planet.There is high hopes for him at Euro 2012, he dragged Dortmund to the Bundesliga title last year and has attracted intrest from some of Europes biggest clubs. An attacking forward he is tricky with a great pass he will act alongside Ozil in Euro 2012 and lead to Germany (probably) to victory.

Spain

Thiago Alcantara aged 20

Already broken into the Barcelona first team with enough talent fill about 12 teams in the Premier League, he announced his arrival with a goal against Man U in a pre-season. Great on the ball and off it and can find space where ever he needs to, hasn't got a bad shot on him either.

Bojan Krkic aged 21

Considering most of his 104 appearances for Barcelona where ten minute cameos at the end of games, scoring 26 goals isn't bad. Like a younger version of Messi, he can dribble past players with ease, has cool finishing and quite a powerful shot on him. He must be good, as Barca insisted on a buy back clause of £17 million after one season (occasional) and £13 million (mandatory) after the second after he signed to Roma for $13 million, it takes a pretty special 21 year old who costs £38 million to keep. Scored one of the goals of the season in 09/10, similar to Neymar's against Flamengo that won the Puskas award (it wasn't that good though) 

Italy

Mario Balotelli aged 21

He may be so mad he really should be locked in a rubber room in a straight jacke, however he is powerful with a great touch and when on form and not blowing up his house, he is one of the best strikers in the Premier League, Man City's #45 is the first black player to appear for the italian national team.

Stephan El Shaarawy aged 19

Nicknamed the Pharaoh because of his Egyptian father, El Shaarawy is  talented player with heaps of potential and is already starting to challenge the likes of Pato and Robinho for a spot in the Milan first team, the Milan #92 (he has a cool squad number). He has chosen to play for Italy and can play on both the right or the left of the midfielder he is sure to follow in Balotelli's footsteps and break into the first team

Argentina

Erik Lamela

Barcelona wanted him and were desperate for his signature, he decided to play for River Plate before transferring to Roma this summer. The best player to come out of Argentina since Lionel Messi, he is a proper number 10 who never stops moving, he is likened to fellow countrymen Messi but looks more like Ronaldo to be honest. 

Russia

Alan Dzagoev

On the last stop on are tour, I've already talked about his in my Euro 2012 post, the best player to come out of the Russia/USSR since Andrei Arshavin, read my "Who Will Win Euro 2012" post to find out more.   

The worst feeling ever...

I've always thought that it's down to fate whether a referees decision goes your way or not. That was before today. Today was the 2012 CISSA JV Tournament and this is where I learnt why people hate it when referees appear to be blind, biased or bonkers. We lost are first game 2-0 to MES (Modern English School), they where the best team in the tournament. They worked the first goal really well and finished it in the bottom corner giving me no chance. Are defence where nervous and in the second half they scored again, one of MES's players got one on one with me, I closed him down,  and I made a good stop with my legs, the ball was looping wide but one of the opposition charged forward and just managed to head the ball into the open net. But it was second game against ISC-6 (International School Choitfet 6th October City) that opened my eyes to bad refereeing decisions and why they are even more annoying when they happen to you. We lost 2-1, we should have won about 7-0, for two reasons, one we weren't clinical in front of goal. And two, the referee was either had very poor eyesight, didn't understand the rules of football or had been bribed by ISC-6, possibly all three. So anyway, the first goal the player was about a mile offside., the ball was played through to him no defensive players about 10 meters behind him.  Our other goalie was playing that game and he made a good save but another player followed it up to make it 1-0. Some decisions did go our way, but the frustration, the sheer hatred of the fact that you are behind and you shouldn't be filled me from head to toe. Their second goal was just as annoying they played it over the top and one of are defenders was running to collect it, the same player who scored the first goal (he was wearing the #12 shirt) was pulling at our defenders shirt, in fact he was holding more of our #4 then he was wearing. The goalie came to collect but didn't come out of his box giving the offender the chance to nip in and take it round the keeper and slot it home. Another refereeing decision so bad it would make Jorge Larrionda of Uruguay (the referee for Germany 4-1 England) forgive himself for his mistake, it was that bad. We did pull a goal back but it was to late, there #12 was sent off for a two footed from behind tackle that brought our #8 crashing to the ground with enough force to cause a small earthquake, it was a challenge that Vinnie Jones would have been proud of (I am certain they are related in some way) we almost got in a punch up on the field and I had to restrain our #8 from thumping the little scumbag, though I severely wanted to beat the c*** out of him myself. We lost the next game 4-0 to NCBIS (New Cairo British International School), the goal I let in was another poachers, there winger got in behind our defence and attemped to square it, I made a good interception with my hands but the other player was on hand to poke it home, the second was another one-on-one situation that left me with no chance. The other goalie came on at half time (not because I was playing bad) and conceded. So we headed into the 7th place play-off hoping to restore some pride against CAC (Cairo American College). We lost 2-1, another clear offside wasn't given to let there striker in, bad goalkeeping by the other goalie, he didn't close down and was easily beaten at his near post. I came on for the second half, I made a good save from a header and cleared to ball down field, our captain received it on his chest turned his marker, and as they jostled for the ball he fired a low shot into the bottom corner, me with the assist, 1-1. I made a great save from a one-on-one situation, saving a great mid-height shot full stretch around the post. Unfortunately they scored again, their was a mix up between me and #4 and the striker got in to poke it through my legs. We came last, I saw it as a good learning experience and was one of the better players in our squad. It was good training for my trip to Dubai, where we should do much better. I asked my coach if she was from Derby, weirdly she wasn't...     

Friday Top 10: World Cup 2010 Best Goals

It is almost two years since the world cup shattered the giant glass roof and brought a major sporting event to the Africa. The cradle of humanity put on a great showing at hosting it, the tournament itself will probably be remembered for off field events as much as on field play (cough, splutter French, cough) The Jabulani beach ball meant that the tournament wasn't filled with many long-shot goals. However, Africa's first World Cup will be remembered fondly as a major step forward in the closing of boundaries in the footballing world. Despite the lack of long shot goals there where still some pretty special goals. The top ten are...

Siphiwe TSHABALA vs Mexico Group Stage
The first goal at a world cup on African soil was a gem. Nominated for that years FIFA Puskas Award. A lovely counter-attacking goal, Mexico who had been dominant for most of the match where stretched at the back and a pinpoint through ball picked out the on coming Tshabalala,winning his 50th cap that day, he takes one touch and as Perez comes he leathers it into the top corner. A good goal, but a great goal in the circumstances. this goal really announced the African World Cup.

Look at his face...

Valter BIRSA vs USA Group Stage

Not often included in top ten lists, but Slovenia were almost through to the last 16 had it not been for a USA come back. After beating Algeria in the first game this stunner set them on their way against the USA. Receiving the ball about 25 yards from goal, he turns into space and curls a magnificent shot past Howard. Though Slovenia didn't progress this goal was the highlight of their tournament. 

Slovenia, Who are they?

MAICON vs North Korea Group Stage

One of those "What the hell happened there?" moments. After being frustrated by a resilient North Korea side, Maicon, summoning the spirit of Cafu and Roberto Carlos, charges down the wing and former Man City player Elano feeds him. The North Korean keeper anticipates the cross but Maicon cuts across the ball getting enough swerve to bend it from the goal line into the net. An incredible goal, goalkeeping is questionable though. 

Maicon bombs down the right, quite ironic against North Korea...

Mesut OZIL vs Ghana Group Stage

Germany needed to beat Ghana to be sure of qualification and it had be one of there young stars that scored the goal to take them through. Combining to of the best players of the tournament good work by Muller (wearing the #13 shirt of his namesake) down the right cuts inside and gets the pass away to Ozil who flicks it up and smashes it into the top corner. Germany went through and the rest is history.  

A star is born...

David VILLA vs Honduras Group Stage

After there shock loss to Switzerland in the first game, Spain needed to kick start there campaign and Villa's beauty against Honduras was like kick starting a Harley-Davidson. Piques crosses and Villa controls with his chest. Running at the defence he flip-flaps between to defenders on the corner of the box, cuts in side and fires it into the top corner. The best solo goal of the competition. The best goal of Spain's world cup winning campaign.

Fabio QUAGLIARELLA vs Slovakia Group Stage

The shining light of Italy's disastrous attempt to retain the World Cup. 3-1 down to Slovakia and heading out of the World Cup, Quagliarella produced a goal worthy of the world champions, in added time he executed a beautiful chip over the keeper to give Italy a sliver of hope (though it didn't prove useful), getting just enough elevation to lift it over the goalie. Beautiful goal.

Luis SUAREZ vs South Korea Round of 16

One of the best players in the Premier League at the moment, this goal was what really drew the attention of Europe's elite. some fancy footwork on the edge of the box, before he curls a lovely shot in off the post leaving the South Korean keeper with no chance. But with Luis Suarez, anything is possible.

BUNDLE!!!!!

Carlos TEVEZ vs Mexico Round of 16

Argentina didn't reach their full potential at South Africa, however they had the most formidable front three in international football of Tevez, Messi and Higuain, an attacking trident with enough talent to rip apart any defence in the world. A great goal sealed Argentina's passage to the quarter finals, Heinze squares it to Tevez who attempts to thread it through two Mexican defenders, it comes of the legs and Tevez leathers it into the top corner with enough power that it hit the net before you heard it leave his boot. Unstoppable. 

Miroslav KLOSE vs Argentina Quarter Finals

This goal summed up Germany's world cup, youth and experience gelling perfectly, in a fast flowing attacking style (how dare they be exciting). Germany where rampant and where already 3-0 up, in the dying moments. Ozil collects the ball and lays it to Podolski, he has space ahead of him  running forward he through balls it into Ozil on the edge of the box who executes a perfect chipped cross over two Argentinian players to Klose who volleys it into the bottom corner for his 14th World Cup finals goal, one behind Ronaldo (the Brazilian one). A fabulous team goal.

The celebration wasn't half bad either...

Giovani VAN BRONCKHORST vs Uruguay Semi-Finals 

Like Tshabalala's nominated for the 2010 FIFA Puskas Award, the very definition of the words 'thunderbolt' and 'screamer'. Villain of the tournament Mark Van Bommel clatters into a Uruguayan as the Dutch pay it across the park until it gets to the captain Van Bronckhorst. And from a seemingly harmless position on the left wing he hits and absolute peach into the postage stamp area of the opposite top corner. In 106 caps he scored 6 times for his country. Just an incredible strike, it didn't move or swerve, it wasn't a shot, it was a laser guided missile that nearly ripped the goal out of the ground. 

Don't even bother goalkeeper...

So a another World Cup lit up by some great goals. As always we have to rank them, though I think you can guess who will win, the top ten goals of world cup 2010 are:

10. MAICON vs North Korea

9. KLOSE vs Argentina

8. VILLA vs Honduras

7. SUAREZ vs South Korea

6. QUAGLIARELLA vs Slovakia

5. TSHABALALA vs Mexico

4. BIRSA vs USA

3. OZIL vs Ghana

2. TEVEZ vs Mexico

1. VAN BRONCKHORST vs Uruguay

So there you have it, the best goals of a memorable world cup. If you disagree with the rankings then comment. Read next week for Top 10 Goals Champions League Group Stage 2011-2012. 

Congratulations to Gypsy King for winning yesterdays caption competition, he has chosen Top 10 referee errors. I will post these on the Wednesday the 25th as I will be in Dubai on the friday.

   

  

Do the French really have style?

One of the more annoying things about the French (among many) is the fact they are more stylish and more fashion concious then us. But are they? It's a good thing this isn't a rugby blog because some of the rugby shirts worn by French clubs are so appalling and shocking that they received a higher age classification than films such as Human Centipede and all of the 97 Saw films. The powers that be will not let me show you these for fear of disturbance of the peace and causing permanent blindness from the general awfulness of the kits. However getting back to football, the two biggest French clubs are Lyon than Marseilles, though PSG's Qatari owners hope to break into the group, as Parisians hopefully they will have more style as the teams for further south. There seem to be two rules about French clubs in regards to shirts. Firstly, they have to have a hone and away shirt for domestic games and a single shirt for all European games. Secondly, the European shirt has to be cool but ugly. I will go over the past to seasons to illustrate this.

Marseilles
Home and Away 2011/2012
Two very classy kits. The home shirt is quite cool, I like the subtle blue diagonal stripes across the chest and the blue stripes on the shoulders set the whole thing off nicely. The gold chest and gold coat of arms of Marseilles (the city) in the inside collar add a touch of class to this already classy kit. The away shirt is awesome.

Classy

The away kit is awesome. A darker shade of blue at first it look like quite an ordinary kit until you look at the chest closely and you see graffiti designs designed to reflect the urban nature of Marseilles population, the gold stripes and logos like the home kit make this already fantastic kit just that little bit better. One of the coolest kits for this season and maybe ever.

If Banksy did football kits...

European Kit 2011/2012

The colour supposedly comes from bombers that flew over the Stade Velodrome in the 1980's. Used before but the additions of the blue stripes across the chest just makes it even more uglier. Some may disagree and for children kits like this seem cool but they aren't classy and once you get older you realise that.

If a bomber was painted this colour it wasn't a stealth bomber then...

Lyon Home/Away kit 2011/2012

Lyon's traditional red and blue stripe (it supposedly makes them play better) it made even better by the two subtle lions you can see roaring on it. The red and blue also appears round the arm holes and colour and the sponsor fits the colour scheme. A stylish and sophisticated kit.

Lyon hope to roar in the Champions League...

Like the home kit this is stylish, it is very simple a very dark blue with subtle red touches that set the hole thing off nicely and white arm holes and collar. Even the crest has been altered to match the colour scheme.

Lyon European kit 2011/2012
The pick of the bunch in terms of ugliness, a sought of maroon colour, that in itself is ok, it's the addition of the dots and dashes of the blue dots and dashes that make the shirt look like abstract art crossed with pointillism. A truly awful kit, I don't know how they charge £44.99 for it on kitbag.com

No description available

Going back a season to prove that this isn't just a one season thing. To speed things up I'll just look at the European kits. To see the home and away shirts click below, the Marseilles away kit isn't good or bad. The Lyon away does look like your grandmothers carpet though...
Marseilles Home 2010/2011
Marseilles Away 2010/2011
Lyon Home 2010/2011
Lyon Away 2010/2011
Marseilles European Kit 2010/2011
A Cool shirt but not stylish in anyway, the rainbow patten also repeated on the seams. The black number was loved by the young and hated by the majority of older fans. Just see for yourself...

If Cbeebies had a team this would be there away kit.

Lyon European Kit 2010/2011
My personnel favourite, I wanted one when I first saw it. However though Lyon are my favourite French team I finally realised what a weird kit this was. Cool, not stylish, some may find it ugly, some may see it as a triumph of nylon printing. Make the choice for yourself...

Couldn't think of a good metaphor...

As you can see the French football has style everywhere except for their European shirts. As every one in Europe seems to copy French fashion loads of big clubs have started to copy them and have horrific away or third kits. England's main offering from last season...

Maybe designed to blind their opponents...

Barcelona have given us several neon kits in the last few seasons, this was the worst (though I like the chest stripe)...

Does the sponsor excuse this?

Juventus returned to there old ways with this offering...

This week  I have come up with an idea, if someone can come up with a good caption for this pic they can choose a Friday top 10 for two weeks away.

Who will win Euro 2012?

As stage lights of 2012 come on and the guy who works them grumbles in the background I thought I better look at the biggest footballing event of 2012. Euro 2012 in Poland/Ukraine. So in honour of this event I thought I better size up the 16 teams vying to become champions of Europe. Then I'll go through the knock-out stages and come up with a victor for the tournament. I'll probably repost this nearer the time and after the tournament check if I was right.
Group A


Poland
Sorry Adam (though I know you'll agree with me) though they haven't gone through qualifying as co-hosts, this team doesn't look good at all and although they're in the easiest group I think the opposition will be to strong for them. About as much chance of getting through as I have of winning X-Factor. Prediction: 4th group A
Greece
Yet to repeat the magic of winning Euro 2004, this team look stronger then the team that crashed out of the world cup two years ago though probably not strong enough to get through this group. Prediction: 3rd Group A
Czech Republic
not the team they once were, with only a few of the great team of the mid 2000's only Peter Cech (it's annoying that his last name is the same as his country like Steven Ireland) they played second fiddle to Spain in qualification but might be able to spring an upset, though probably won't. Prediction: 2nd Group A
Russia
Maybe the last chance for the old guard (Arshavin, Pavlyuchenko etc.) to do well at an major tournament. Definitely the darkest of the dark horses. This team can play very good football on there day and in Alan Dzagoev they truly have a star for the future, linked with Chelsea (who else?) the CSKA midfielder is great on and off the ball and can take free kicks with more accuracy than a Tomohawk missile. Prediction: 1st Group A

Group B

Netherlands
A would be faultless qualifying campaign had they not lost 3-2 to Sweden on the final matchday. The 2010 world cup finalists were the top scorers in qualifying (though nearly half their goals came against San Marino including an 11-0 victory) they are a strong unit. If star striker Robin Van Persie is on form there attacking line up is a formidable one that is almost impossible to stop. Should do well in this tournament. Prediction: 2nd Group B
Denmark
It is unfortunate that the '92 winners ended up in this group of death, they saw off group rivals the Portugese in qualifying to finish top of there group, Youngster Cristian Eriksonn is being targeted by several big clubs. They probably would have progressed if they'd been in another group but I feel that the huge array of talent in group B will prove to much for them. Prediction: 4th Group B
Germany
Of the two faultless qualifying this was more impressive as they won 10 to Spains 8 and destroyed all before them. Jochim Low has sorted out his sides defensive issues and turned the nationalmannschaft into the best national team in Europe. As good going forward as they are in defending, their is no area of the pitch they won't dominate. A fast counter-attacking style fits there players perfectly and there impressive 3-0 freindly victory over the Netherlands confinced me to put them top. Prediction 1st Group B
Portugal
An incredible team with vast array of talent, I would say more but because of there shaky qualifying campaign I don't think they can stop the devestating play of the Dutch or Germans, even Cristiano Ronaldo has his limits. Prediction: 3rd Group B

Group C

Spain
Possibly the best passing side the word has ever seen. The way the trophy holders move the ball around the pitch is incredible. I've already said to much you know were I'm putting them. Prediction: 1st Group C
Italy
Unbeaten in qualifying but most of there players are old and I feel that they might capitulate like at the world cup. A strong side but I feel they will struggle as well as the fact many players are injured or injury prone. Prediction: 3rd Group C
Croatia
Not the strongest in qualifying but they have some quality players. The crucial match in this group will be Croatia vs Italy as it will decide who comes second behind Spain (sorry Eire) however I feel there attacking style will be able to overcome the old Italian defence.   
Republic of Ireland
Despite all the talk of them being dark horses and so on it has been ten years since they were at a major tournament and 24 since they were at a Euros only Given and Keane (now Irelands top scorer) remain from the 2002 world cup and though they have some talented players they are not experienced at major tournaments like the other teams. The highlight of there tournament will be filling there suitcases with duty free alcohol. They have great supporters though, even if their support is 70% down to bailey's cream. Prediction: 4th Group C

Group D


Ukraine
Of the two hosts they are the stronger and could spring an upset in their group if they can beat one of the big two. The trouble is saying if they can beat England, if England play like they did at World Cup 2010 then they will lose. Though... Prediction: 3rd Group D
Sweden
A good team but to succeed in this tournament you have to be really good and they aren't quite there yet. in Ibrahimovic they have possibly the greatest Scandinavian player and Kim Kallstrom doesn't play for lyon for nothing. However those two players class shouldn't be able to get them through the group stage. Prediction 4th Group D
England
As long as we don't play like we did in South Africa we should be fine. That fiasco cost the team our faith in them however. If Capello uses a formation other than 4-4-2 (they do exist Fabio) and brings Theo Walcott and Daniel Sturrage (a quality young player) the latter for the first two games when we don't have Wayne Rooney and maybe for when we do. I'm not going to even think about winning cause it won't happen. but just maybe...no wait what the hell am I thinking (slaps self in face). Prediction: 2nd Group D
France
We may hate them but they are better than us and despite the silly accents and annoying good looks (I exclude Frank Ribery from this of course) there not a bad team, there world cup sham wasn't to do with there quality just the dissent in the camp. Samir Nasri and Yohanne Gourcouf should shine. Prediction: 1st Group D

Knockout Phase-Quarter Finals
Russia vs Netherlands
Possibly an upset here, if the Russians can play like they did against Holland at this stage 4 years ago (they won 3-1) they could easily spring an upset. The most difficult match to predict I think and this game is the one I'm most like to be wrong about. but I think that Holland's quality should prevail on the day. Holland to go through.
Spain vs England
As official champions of the world england, yes ENGLAND should win (we beat spain, the world champions, that makes us world champions doesn't it?) however we may be good (it's a comparative thing) but Spain are just to good and if they take their chances they should best us easily. I'm sorry I had to do this but it has to be done. England, your out. Spain to go through.
Germany vs Czech Republic
No competition here, maybe looking at a Man U vs Arsenal game here. Germans to dominate every area of the pitch. Germany to go through (damn they've gone further than us again)
Croatia vs France
Difficult one, like the Russia vs Holland game, there may easily be a surprise here and Croatia can match France. However I think Nasri will be the decisive player and if he is on his game. He will cut through the Croatia defence like a samurai sword through human flesh splattering metaphorical blood over the table cloth shirts of Croatia. France to go through

Knockout phase-Semi Finals
Spain vs Netherlands
A repeat of the World Cup final two years ago, the Netherlands with be out for revenge, I for one hope for a similar game as the World Cup final except with more goals. Games like the World Cup Final are the sort of games you shouldn't enjoy but do, like the Man U 8-2 Arsenal game except with real blood instead of metaphorical. I think that Spain's passing will be a little to much for Holland, who have the strongest team they've had since the days of Gullit and Van Basten (though I doubt a goal like that will happen). Spain to go through.
Germany vs France
This semi final though not as exciting promises to be an intriguing tie as France will hope to control what all the other teams will have failed to do in controlling the Germans, a near impossible task. And Nasri vs Ozil promises the two best attacking midfielders in the tournament. However the German team will almost certainly prove to strong for France, though I expect it to be closer than Germany's previous games. Germany to go through

The Final
As UEFA have scrapped the thrid place play-off the two bet national sides in the world go head to head. 22 players 2 managers and a ref who may be about to oversee the greatest Euro final ever seen. Attacking vs Passing. Efficiency vs Flair. It promises to be a mouth watering tie. Both usually dominate ever area of the pitch. Germany have strengthened their team for the world cup semi final loss in Durban. Moth have merits that would have any pundits scratching their heads deciding who is going to win. Taking all these points into account I think the winner of Euro 2012 will be...GERMANY who will win their forth euro crown. Another feather in the cap that is starting to look like an albatross with all the feathers. I may be english but you can't deny the Germans quality and they are worthy winners. So if I'm wrong I will take it on the chin (though I probably won't be)

FIFA Ballon d'Or The Results + The Best Striker in Europe revealed!!!

Last night (though 9 days late) bought the metaphorical curtain down on the year 2011 in football, another glitzy star studded gala. Presented by people who really didn't want to be doing it and attended by people who are their to give their footballing egos a boost. With lots of fake smiling and mock gratitude and people making speeches that all said exactly the same thing. But mostly FIFA seems to have done pretty well, yesterday I made my prediction and got quite a good hit rate in terms of who I thought deserved or should have one the award (oh my god I'm turning into Paul the Octopus) I said Messi both deserved and will win the main event, the Ballon d'Or, he is the best player in the world undoubtedly and will almost certainly become the person to win the most Ballon d'Or's ever. For woman's football the Japanese captain over turned the five year dictatorship of the Brazilian Marta, so one of the few I got wrong. I forgot to comment on manager of the year but in both cases the best one was chosen, the japanese ladies manager who took them to world cup glory and pep guardiola who is on course to become possibly the greatest manager ever since taking over he has won 13 out 16 possible trophies, you gotta admit that's a pretty good record. The fact Wayne Rooney didn't win the puskas award surprised me, usually they go for how famous the player is not how good the goal was and Neymar's stunning solo effort was the deserved winner. Though if this had gone in then it should have won. It does prove one thing, there must be someone at FIFA who see the beautiful game as a cheque paid into a bank account in the Seychelles, that there is somebody in that building in Switzerland who actually understands it. The Presidential Award was given to Sir Alex Ferguson, he led Man U to their 19th title, celebrated 25 years at the helm of a single club and turned seventy. The only other award he should win is for International Services to Chewing Gum. And as I predicted the Japanese FA won the Fair Play award (Nemanja Vidic did get in the World XI though). 2012 promises to be an year of great action in the footballing world which in a years time will be rewarded by another shameful party in the centre of world fun, Zurich.

He already has a pair of those...

As you know Messi is the best player on the planet and Ronaldo is biting at his heels, however they are not the most prolific of strikers in Europe this season so far. UEFA rank them for the ESM Golden Boot with a system that is baffling. Players in England, Spain, Italy, Germany & France get their number of goals multiplied by 2 because they are scored in a tougher league. In the sort of mid-difficulty leagues like in Russia they are multiplied by 1.5, In Estonia they aren't multiplied at all and have the lowest average attendance in Europe for a top division (even Andorra's and San Marino's get more people through the gate) with around 850 on average. However this system baffles me, if you play in one of the five top leagues you are undoubtedly better than the thousands of terrible (comparatively) players who fill up leagues like the Estonian one. So scoring for them in the big leagues is undoubtedly the same difficulty as one of the bad players who play in the deemed by UEFA 'developing leagues'. So the currently the best striker in Europe is:

Latvian Aleksandrs Čekulajevs scored 46 goals in the 2011 Estonian League for JK Trans Narva (the rating is only for league goals for all players) the only reason Ronaldo and Messi are even close (Ronaldo needs to score twice more to overtake him) to this tally is because their goals are multiplied by two because the they play in La Liga, but they are the best players in the world. Lets think theoretically here, if they are 10 times better players then Čekulajevs and they play in a league that 10 times better why do their goals count for more. Scoring 46 league goals in a single season is impressive for anyone and to do it without having a stupid multiplyer to do it. Messi or Ronaldo have never scored 46 LEAGUE goals in a season (yet). So the best striker in Europe is Aleksandrs Čekulajevs, when I do my yearly round up in May I'll make sure to forget the multiplier, then we'll see who really is the top scorer in europe, take that Messi and Ronaldo!!!